My Dear Sisters and Brothers in Christ

Mother Teresa is one of the great iconic figures of our age and so it is not surprising that when a book appears claiming that for almost 50 years she lived without sensing the presence of God in her life, it will arouse controversy. But although it has already been seized upon and quoted by those wishing to undermine the Christian faith, the book is not the work of some anti-religious journalist, but rather that of her postulator, a senior member of her own order who is responsible for gathering together material in support of the petition for her canonisation. Her letters contained in the book were gathered as part of that process and were intended by the author to portray one extraordinary person's spiritual journey into sanctification, and ultimately, he believes, into sainthood.

While few ever experience the depth and duration of desolation that Mother Teresa found herself in, all of us experience periods of desolation and darkness. The Anglican aesthetic theologian, Martin Thornton, says that most of our spiritual journey is a wandering in the desert, in a place of dryness and desolation, where there are only occasional mountain top experiences of transfiguration. While this is undoubtedly true for most of us, the desolation of Mother Teresa is much more than an extreme and enduring form of desert dryness. It is rooted in a journey into God that can only be understood in terms of the dark night of the soul as described in the writings of St Teresa of Avilla and St John of the Cross.

For St Teresa and John all of life is a love affair between God and ourselves, in which we are set free from our compulsive behaviours and false attachments and drawn into union with God. It is a journey into love that is pure gift, but is a journey that demands our full co-operation for God will not invade where our hearts have closed the door. That journey takes us through two dark nights along the way; the second of which is the dark night of the soul.

John uses various images to convey the suffering of this extremely trying time. It is a period in which the soul is stripped of all human and spiritual support, a time in which false selves and false gods are radically uprooted and the soul is left with nothing except a desperate longing for God in a darkness so deep that it seems that God has abandoned them, that even their faith is being destroyed and their soul dying. But says John: 'The brighter the light, the more the owl is blinded,' and this time of blindness, when prayer seems all but impossible is actually the point at which God is most powerfully at work; the soul is purged of all that is not of God and there is a powerful inflow of God in a ... 'pure and dark contemplation' that prepares the soul for union with God. John likens this dark night to a log on the fire. At first the fire chars the wood which smokes and emits unpleasant odours, but as the wood dries out it begins to be transformed into fire itself.'

All of what John said of the dark night of the soul is given flesh in the agonising words of Mother Teresa's letters and journals. Her early spiritual journey was one filled with intense, near ecstatic communion with God. From the age of 12 she knew that God was calling her to be a missionary to the poor, and heard clearly the voice of God calling her to be a Loreto nun. Seventeen years later she again heard God call her to abandon teaching and work instead with the poorest of the poor, the sick and dying, the beggar and the outcast. 'Come, Come, carry Me into the holes of the poor,' she heard Christ say, 'Come be My light.' In addition, at that same time, she was having visions so intense that her confessor, who believed the voices and visions to be genuine mystical experiences, wrote: 'Her union with Our Lord has been continual and so deep and violent that rapture does not seem very far.' Of that period Teresa simply said, 'Jesus gave himself to me.'

It was only when Rome finally gave its approval for her to embark on her second calling that the voices and visions ceased and the desolation began. Two months into her new work, at a high point in her life when she had just established the buildings for the new order, she began speaking of the 'tortures of loneliness;' a spiritual loneliness and isolation for young women were flocking to join the order so fast that within 4 months they were forced to move into larger premises. And as fast as the order grew and the ministry prospered, as quickly she experienced the growing desolation.

'Please pray specially for me that I may not spoil His work and that Our Lord may show Himself - for there is such terrible darkness within me, as if everything were dead,' she wrote to her spiritual director. He responded by telling her that she was not as much in the dark as she thought and that the external evidence provided ample proof that God was blessing her work; an unhelpful remark that failed to address her desperation or the darkness that grew and became all encompassing for almost 50 years.

In point of fact, unhelpful remarks by spiritual directors unable to understand her suffering only compounded her suffering, and she moved from one director to another seeking counsel and advice that would ease her pain. It took almost 10 years before she found the right person; someone who told her the 3 things she needed to hear: that her pain was not of human origin, but was rooted in the work of God; that her deep craving for God was a sure sign of his hidden presence at work in her; and that the absence was a part of the 'spiritual side' of her work for Jesus. She had begun her new ministry believing that she was sharing in the passion of Christ and she now came to understand her pain as a sharing in the cry of dereliction from the cross. 'I cannot express the gratitude I owe you,' she wrote to her director. 'For the first time in years ... I have come to love the darkness - for I believe now that it is part of a very, very small part of Jesus' darkness and pain on earth. You have taught me to accept it as a spiritual side of my work.'

There is much more that could be said, but for the purpose of this meditation I want to make three brief points. The first is that all of us at various times and in varying ways struggle with our faith and the life of prayer and, all too often, our levels of faithfulness are shaped by how we 'feel.' Mother Teresa shows us that it is OK to struggle and that the pain and the struggle are an integral part of our spiritual journey. The point at which we struggle most may be the time when God is most at work. Secondly, although she did not 'feel' the presence of Christ for almost 50 years and struggled throughout that time to pray, she was at prayer every morning at 4.30am, and is remembered by those who lived with her as being a person of intense prayerfulness and tangible holiness. Susan has a photograph of Mother Teresa at prayer which is, for her, an icon of Christ. It is said that you do not 'paint' an icon, but 'write' it. That photo of Mother Theresa in prayer is the writing of an icon.

Finally, Mother Teresa's experience with spiritual directors speaks to me of my role as a priest. The first rule in the medical profession is 'Do no harm,' and we would do well to heed those words. St John of the Cross says that a spiritual director must have 3 qualifications: learning, discernment, and experience. Learning and discretion are, for him, the 'foundation,' but he is emphatic that, without experience, there will be no success. Without these qualifications, he says, we will harm the souls in our care. Learning we can (and should) acquire through study; the other two are the fruit of a love affair between God and ourselves in which, as Mother Teresa shows us, we are to faithfully co-operate.

May the love of your life be visible in all that you do.

+ Brian

Ongoing Spiritual Formation

Clergy Day: The next Clergy Day will be on Tuesday, 6^th November 2007 at the Cathedral Church of St Mary the Virgin, Wanderers' Street. Representatives from the Department of Health and Nazareth House will be speaking on the subject of HIV and AIDS.

Clergy Quiet Day: Our final Quiet Day for the year will be at Bishop's House on 20^th November and will be a preparation for Advent. I hope that many of you will be there to spend time with God in preparation for the new year.

Check the website www.cpsajoburg.org.za: Check the website for sermon, liturgy and other worship resources, as well as for articles and news of general interest.

Reading Recommendations

As I made mention of St John of the Cross in the opening reflection, I am recommending two books for those of you who would like to know more about the dark night of the soul. The first is an 'easy-read' introduction to St John of the Cross and his relevance for today. It is by Gerald May and is entitled 'The Dark Night of the Soul.' The second book is 'When Gods Die' by John Welch, which offers a more in depth look at the writings of St John of the Cross. Both are worth reading.

I have decided against distributing a draft 2008 Year Planner as any changes to the draft always seem to result in confusion. However, I have given the Archdeacons a draft copy of the 2008 Year Planner and you can discuss dates and plans at your next Archdeaconry meeting. Please do not enter dates into your diary at this stage - wait for the Yellow Pages which will have the finalised dates.

Vestry 2008

In terms of the Canons we are required to have completed Vestry by the end of March. Easter falls in March next year and will present problems in holding Vestry. The 23^rd of March is Easter and the preceding Sunday (16^th March) is Palm Sunday. Neither, therefore, is an appropriate date for holding Vestry which must then be held not later than 9^th March or on Low Sunday, 30^th March (The first Sunday after Easter) when church attendance is usually very poor.

Because of the poor attendance on Low Sunday and the fact that the Palm Sunday and Easter celebrations might well interfere with the nomination process for Vestry elections, I am recommending that you plan for a date not later than 9^th March. This will put additional pressure on completing the financial statements and I am asking that you, together with your Churchwardens and Finance Committee begin preparing your books now. If you have completed everything to trial balance for the period up to the end of October or November, it will be easy to complete your books in the first week or so of January and get them to the auditors or independent verifiers.

Please take this seriously and begin planning now. The Diocesan Management Team has said that we have to hold people accountable, and I would hate to be called upon to act against anyone for not fulfilling the canonical requirements in respect of Vestry.

This is just to remind you that our Diocesan Conference is to be held at the Ipelegeng Community Centre (St Paul's, Jabavu) on Saturday, 17^th November, starting at 08h00.

The purpose of the Conference will be:

• To gain background and understanding of the proposed Anglican Covenant;

• To examine and discuss the proposed Anglican Covenant;

• To give +Brian an indication of the feeling of the Diocese to take to the Lambeth Conference 2008.

Moves, Appointments and Vacancies

• Mothusimang Makata has been appointed Archdeacon of St Andrew's (Sowejo) and will be licensed at a service to be held in the parish of St James', Diepkloof at 09h00 on Sunday, 4^th November. Our congratulations and best wishes go to Mothusimang as he undertakes this position. Please remember to hold him and Boitumelo in your prayers.

• Paul Molefe will be instituted as Rector of St Mary's, Dobsonville at 15h00 on Sunday, 4^th November. Please continue to hold the family in your prayers.

Dates for Diary

NOVEMBER

DECEMBER

Directions for the Church of the Ascension, Rangeview: Take Ontdekkers Road towards Krugersdorp. Pass Westgate Shopping Centre. At MacDonalds, turn right into C R Swart Drive (3^rd traffic light after Westgate). Continue to 3^rd traffic light and turn left into Wilgerood Road. About 400 metres past the Jehovah's Witness Complex (on left) turn right into Bell Street and right again into Red Thorn Street (about 200m along). Church is in next block - cnr Red Tom and Leadwood Streets.

Archdeaconry Meetings

The poor attendance by clergy (particularly Self-Supported clergy) at Archdeaconry meetings is of some concern to me. These meetings are not intended as a further burden on our clergy. Rather, they are intended as an opportunity to gather together with fellow clergy - with whom you may not normally come into contact - and to listen, share and respond to what is happening in the life of other parishes within your Archdeaconry.

Family News

• The Revd Lankiri Thaba's father, Edwin Thaba, died in Lesotho on Monday, 8^th October. Please remember to hold the family in your prayers during this time of grief and loss.

• The Revd Dale White died on Monday 29^th October, after a battle with Leukaemia. An all-night vigil will be held at Wilgespruit on Wednesday, 7^th November and Dale's funeral will be held at St Paul's, Jabavu at 09h00 on Thursday, 8^th November. Please hold Tish and the family in your prayers during this sad time.

Please remember the following persons in your prayers as they celebrate birthdays and anniversaries in the coming months:

November Birthdays and Anniversaries:

December Birthdays and Anniversaries:

General Notices

• The Sunday Morning Radio Broadcast Service: The final broadcast for the year will be relayed on Christmas Day, 25^th December 2007 from the Parish of All Saints, Somerset West. The Rector is The Revd Jacques Jeffries.

• STI(L)LIM's for Lay Leaders: Many of you may have attended the ST THOMAS' INSTITUTE FOR LEADERSHIP IN MINISTRY (STILIM) and have found it an invaluable tool for improving your leadership abilities. A new initiative is now going to be offered to lay leaders within our Diocese, starting in 2008. The purpose of this initiative will be to empower our lay leadership and deepen their ability to be more effective in all areas of ministry. An 8 morning, pilot Course for a limited number of lay leaders will be offered in 2008. The course will be held from 09:00 till 12:30 on the 2^nd Saturday of each month, February - May and July - October, starting on the 9^th February 2008. For more information please contact Darryl Cotton on Tel: 084-526-8866; 011-794-4198 (home); 011-954-6618 (office); or email: dcotton@axxess.co.za

• Post-Ordination Skills Training: The last training day for the year will be held on 10^th November (Topic: Changing Parish and Ethics). The training session will be followed by the Eucharist and conclude with a Bring & Share year-end party. Venue: St Margaret's, 9 Harper Road, Bedfordview. Time: 09h00 to ±14h00. For more information contact Revd Patricia Lane. 011 455 4449.

• Sunday School Notes: Sets of these notes will be ready for collection from Revd Patricia Lane at the Clergy Day to be held on 4^th December. The cost is R60.00 for the package. Please remember that payment is required at the time of collection - no payment, no notes!

• HIV and AIDS:

• On the 1^st October the HIV and AIDS ministry moved into offices at No 215, 2^nd floor, Darragh House - just in front of the Diocesan Offices. This event coincided with the starting of the new Administrator, Mrs Nicolai (Nico) Palmer. At the moment the offices are very sparsely furnished. An appeal is being made to all parishes to help in donating furniture and equipment in the way of a reception workstation, filing cabinets, chairs, laptop, power-point projector, multipurpose printer, conference table, stationery, kettle, cups/mugs, plates, teaspoons, jugs, etc. All donations will be gratefully accepted. Thanks be to God for the growth of this vital ministry and for the support of all in this growth! Please visit our new office next time you are in the area - remember that it is your office too!

• A reminder that the final quarterly meeting for Parish Representatives will be held on Saturday, 10^th November at 10h00 at St Paul's, Jabavu.

• The Diocese will be hosting the World AIDS Day Commemoration in partnership with the Johannesburg Art Gallery on Saturday, 1^st December. This will be in the form of an HIV & AIDS Art Festival, with art displays and performances such as music and dance, drama, poetry, etc. The Festival will also be an opportunity for groups to display and sell any crafts that they may have made. The venue will be the Johannesburg Art Gallery in Joubert Park, behind the Noord Taxi Rank. We will try and assist any needy parishes with transport. The Revd Tsepo Matubatuba, Diocesan HIV and AIDS Co-ordinator.

• Clergy Directory: Please amend your Directory as follows -

Revd Desirée Snyman e-Mail address keehanconnor@discoverymail.co.za

Revd Lefetlho Lethoko Work phone 011 933 7916

St Andrew's Pimville Office phone 011 933 7916
Office fax 011 933 7916011-933-7916
David and Jean Butcher Address 66 Galway Road, Parkview 2193.

Home phone 011 646 4008
Home fax 011 646 7663

Revd Brian Williams Address Frailcare, St George's Village, 7 Economides Road,

Bedfordview 2007

St Hildas Senaoane Office phone 011 984 8397

• Parish Secretary: The Parish of St George's, Parktown is seeking the services of a new Parish Secretary to take over from Gordon Brodie who will be retiring at the end of December 2007. This is an interesting and exciting position. Working hours are from Monday to Friday, 09h00 to 16h30. These hours and the salary are negotiable. Computer literacy in Word and Excel is essential. Interested applicants should e-mail their CV to secretary@stgeorges.org.za for the attention of the Church- wardens and be prepared to commence work on 1^st December 2007.

• Bursaries 2008: Bursaries are available for post graduate studies for clergy during 2008. Please send applications to Peter Wyngaard at peterwyn@artslink.co.za or fax: 011 887 7790 before the end of November 2007, including the name of the university; course details; and your current educational status. The amounts offered may vary but the maximum amounts given are as follows: Doctorate: R5000.00; Masters: R4000.00; Honours: R2000.00.

• Emergency Planning Training: St Luke's, Orchards have invited Jenny Clarke to present another two-day course on Saturday, 26^th January 2008 and Saturday, 19^th April 2008. Both days will start at 09h00 and end by 16h00. The cost will be R150.00 per person per day. This is a good opportunity for those clergy who may have missed the two previous courses run by Jenny Clarke. Please contact Revd Allan Williams on 011 728 7015 for further details.

• Jhb Diocesan Mothers' Union Worker/Developer: The Mothers' Union is seeking the services of someone who is passionate about the Union to fill the position of Worker/Developer in the Johannesburg Diocese. Applicants must be aged between 35-50 years; must have completed post-Matric studies (eg: Nursing/Teaching) and be a Graduate in Human Sciences. Applicants must also be computer literate; must possess managerial skills; and hold a valid driver's licence. Applications must reach the President, Mothers' Union, Diocese of Johannesburg, PO Box 1131, Johannesburg, 2000 before 30^th November 2007.

(Do you want to see related pages, the whole site or the non-frames Sitemap?)